Latest Blog Entry ...

Recent News Alerts
Dontate

Documentary Support

Dontate

Make A Donation

  • Support Carl
    Click the link above to see how you can make a donation to support the Carl Riccio Trust.

Poem by Renee Springhorne

Carl's Blog

7 Years 2/13/2010


February 2010

Seven years since the day the earth stood still. Seven years since my beautiful, talented, athletic, handsome, perfect boy, announced to me, lying on a wrestling mat "Dad i cant move anything". With those words began life after Carl's accident . That's the way I look at things, that's the way it feels, that's just the way it is. Many things have changed in the last year, sadly the biggest thing that has happened is that Tricia and I have divorced. Of course this was another blow to my family. The family that both Tricia and I love, as we always have, unquestioned love, that we have had since Kerry was born. Divorce is a tragedy, it ruins everything, it takes away your self respect, somehow you do not feel as good about yourself, like you have something to be ashamed of. Our kids are all adults and still it has affected them in an emotional way. I can see it in all my boys and hear it from my daughter, they are all heart broken and disappointed, however as I said they are all adults, I feel more aware of young children who grew up or are growing up with divorced parents, that can only be ten times worse. Of course I can only give my thoughts and feelings in these letters right or wrong. My family will survive and we will thrive. Kerry has a new career as a clinical hospital pharmacist, she loves it , and there is no worker better than her so they must be thrilled with her. She is a happy, yet, emotional person who wears her emotions on her sleeve. As I told her she is the new sheriff in town, she is going to have to be the one who does the little things for the next fifty years to keep our family alive. Every family must have one if they love each other . This job is hers, she has no choice, she knows it as I do, her four brothers all love her unconditionally and she will always have their ear and respect. I know especially how much Carl loves his big sister, this is evident without words, I can see it as bright as day.

Peter Jr is doing great in his job and in life. I love his direction. He is poised to have a very happy and successful life. I am very proud of him, he will always be the little kid I dressed and wiped his @$$ until he was fifteen, not that I minded, he is a bit spoiled and selfish, but not with Carl. He loves and respects Carl with all his heart and I know he will always be there for Carl.

Shane, what a great kid. I cannot say enough good things about Shane Patrick Riccio to say enough..... when I see him I smile, when I talk to him I smile, when I yell at him I smile, when he is serious I smile, when he is joking around I smile, and when he takes care of Carl, when he is with Carl, when he is arguing with Carl, I cry because only Shane can express true love for a brother through the selfless act of caring for some of Carl's needs, while arguing, discussing, laughing, belittling, mocking - just not missing a beat of life's interactions. To Shane, Carl will always be his best friend, his mentor, his buddy, I can only express this as I have hear, I do not know if it translates through my tears of joy .

Tyler, was supposed to be our book end daughter. Instead I got a perfect boy. He takes care of me, he yells at me, he loves me. He is so handsome, he’s pretty. So good, generous, hard worker, caring - you could not ask for anything more from a child than what Tyler has given me in his 21 years. And with Carl you could just about say everything I said about Shane with just one difference - when Tyler helps Carl, Tyler is faster and better.

So before I put a grade on the last year, I want to quickly review my thoughts of the last seven years. At that time I would say I was the happiest person on the face of the earth and my family always heard me sing those words. Then in one split second, Carl's tragedy changed me and my families lives. When traumatic things happen to people we all handle it in different ways, I always considered myself to have a strong will and mind, but I could not handle it correctly. My wife and kids all handled it in their own way. Thinking back I do not even know how each one was, or how they were physically and mentally, I was in no shape to help anyone. I had to live and wrestle with my own demons. How could I get Carl fixed, how could I go on with life, how could Carl go on in life. Things for years were just not clear, unfocused. I was certainly of no help to anyone, I tried to be strong but nights were hell and I was not doing well. Then in my family’s darkest of times, two men from Watchung Hills - teachers - destroyed my son Tyler's life, gave him a nervous breakdown. They were so bad, so mean spirited. Tyler who had just 18 months before had seen his brothers tragedy could no longer take it, he begged to leave Watchung Hills and he spent his senior year at Bridgewater high school. My son, a year ago, told me that his disdain for those two men is as fresh today as it was three years earlier. This from a young man who is loved by everyone and hasn't a mean bone in his body.

Night after this sad episode with Tyler and the teachers, I found out that the 25 year, head pharmacist and manager of my business had done so many illegal things in my absence that my business was ruined. This man, instead of doing a great job running our business, was doing just the opposite. He destroyed all our economic stability built over a lifetime, battered through our family tragedy and destroyed by a thief. The last 3 years has been a constant struggle trying to stay in business and clearing all the problems associated with this bad employee .

Then our divorce, not caused by anyone of these, just a combination of normal marriage growing pains and all this bad luck, it became to much to handle any longer. This is very sad. You just do not move on after thirty years, it takes time. Not only for Tricia and I, but for all seven of my family.

......Carl my everything..........

Carl is to me the greatest person that I have ever met. He has the greatest personality, he is the greatest athlete, he is pure class win or lose(the opposite of Uncle Silky John), a great leader, friend, son, citizen and person. In that one split second he lost so much. I dwell on this to much, but that's the way it is. In the beginning I was focused on faith and science to cure my son. I was convinced we should go to a half a dozen places throughout the world to cure Carl by different operations, stem cells, blood transfusions, even a witch doctor in Africa. (No Joke). When these things happen to a loved one, it is human nature to think you can do something about it, find the special doctor, procedure, drug, that will cure your son... I can only laugh or cry about the fact I had Carl taking 30 drops of what tasted like some kind of gasoline, twice a day, months after he was paralyzed. Through my research online throughout the entire world, one doctor struck my fancy with video tapes and pamphlets and whatever else you could think of, showing that through the miracle of his magic potion, dogs previously paralyzed were walking. I was so convinced, I signed up with him, he sent me these bottles of disgusting liquid that was supposed to cure my son. I drank a half of bottle, did not die, and started giving it to Carl for about a month.

I did this because of my deep depression and need to do something for Carl. After months and years go by , you come to your senses. Not that I lost hope - hope I will always have, hope that some day Carl will walk again, that he will be cured by some new exciting breakthrough. Yes hope is good. All else though has faded with time. The thing I am most grateful, in my response, is that soon after Carl's accident I came to the realization that if I was to help Carl, I could do it best by leading him to the path of independence. Education and what comes with it: money, respect, jobs. That is what Carl needed more than anything. I know Carl would have pursued a great education without me. As we all know, I am not a very demanding father, but in this case, I did step out of character and pushed Carl into reaching goals in education he might not have. For this I am so happy. Carl will help himself, he will help the people he works for and with, and maybe someday, he will help the whole world.

As most people know Carl graduated Villanova, finance, and now attends Seton Hall Law School, second year. He is not the A student he was at Villanova, it is a challenge and very time consuming, but of course Carl has met and beat all challenges as he will this one. In a year and a half he’ll be a lawyer. Then the sky is the limit for my beautiful son.

I wish Carl would write on here more often. He is busy but not so he could not write every few months. I know only a few people still read it, but I do, so I will briefly tell you what Carl does as best I can on a weekly basis while at Seton Hall. Carl hired a new aide starting in January. His old aide did great but he was getting tired and the new guy Milan, is quite a character. He is a good and funny guy and will be with Carl until June - just six months, but that's ok, Carl and I are getting pretty good at hiring aides. Of course most of Carl's week is taken up going to classes and studying. He eats dinner at his apartment most every night and supervises the cooking, and I will tell you that's a tough supervisor. I come over and stay with Carl at least once a week, beat him in Jeopardy and go to sleep. Carl's is a big fan of his brothers wrestling career. We go to as many matches and watch the rest on the Internet. Carl will be going to the match February 20th at Bucknell - Shane's last home match (senior night). Then we will be at Lehigh for the EIWA championships. Then of course we will be flying out to Omaha to watch Shane in the national championships NCAA DIV I. Shane's goal is to be an all American, top 8 in the country. Carl and I will be there to root him on but I know I can speak for Carl and my whole family when I say that he is our ALL AMERICAN win or lose in Omaha. Carl hates to fly, but to see Shane's last tournament he will. Carl is extremely proud of all his brothers and sister, they are all his friends, and Shane's and Tyler's wrestling careers has given us nothing but pleasure and excitement over the last seven years. Shane's last year is special to me and Carl that's for sure. Carl's is very into the fantasy football, baseball, golf, and even NASCAR. His weekend usually include Villanova basketball, seeing his cousins Ryan and John and his brother Peter and sister Kerry out and about in the Big Apple. I was there a couple of weeks ago and was going to go out with them after dinner. Dinner was over at 11pm and then the entire crew was going to my son Peter’s apartment for a pre party and then going out. By that time I would be up from my deep sleep to visit the bathroom twice already. For Carl, he doesn't miss a beat. If you see him at one of these clubs, don't be surprised if he is out on the dance floor singing and dancing or on the side, making out with some young lady. But of course what else would you expect from my beautiful, special boy.

Well if anyone is still reading, I will finish with my hopes and dreams for my son Carl. Not way in the future but in the next 10 years. I do not know what the future will bring, I really only care about my kids and family being happy. I always felt having kids was the fulfillment of my life's wishes and I want Carl to have this pleasure. I know it will complete him some day. If that comes with the love of a woman great, if not, so be it. And besides those kids will be the luckiest kids on the face of the earth. Carl will be their dad.
I want Carl to be healthy and happy and bursting with love. I am only happy when Carl is feeling well and happy. I want all who love and care about Carl to never forget about him. Keep in touch. Get his email or just write on this site.

I know I wrote enough. I will just say that this terrible tragedy that happened to Carl is over. Life goes on. That is what makes us all so lucky. Carl has lost a lot and moves on. I... we... have lost nothing. We have Carl right here at our finger tips. Those people who have lost their children, I can not imagine... I am always sad about Carl's injury... about what he is missing. Yet I am so lucky I have him every second, minute, hour, day, month and year. So on the 7th year after my worst day, I celebrate my 24th year of having as my son Carl Patrick Riccio, who is and always will be...<<<<.THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS>>>

Love,



Dad

The close of 2009 12/26/2009


Wow, half way through law school. I am currently home from school enjoying the holidays and the time with my family. In my opinion this past semester was just as difficult as last year, but it was less stressful because I knew what kind of work to expect and how to do it. Now that I have finished my finals I am trying to lineup an internship for the summer. I have sent my resume out and I’m hoping fob find something interesting.

The holidays have gone well so far considering it was the first Christmas with my parents divorced. It has been a change for all of us, but my family has adjusted well so far. Adversity is a part of life and we have learned how to deal with many things, all while staying close as a family.

During this break I have had to search for a new aide and hopefully we have found the new guy. We just gave a man named Milan the job on Wednesday. I can’t thank my brothers and father enough for helping me through this process whenever necessary, specifically Tyler and my Dad. My Dad interviews probably 100’s of people before we find the correct person, and Tyler helps me teach the guy how to do everything I need.

2009 is almost over and I know 2010 will have its ups and downs, but I know my family will be there for me through all of it.

Carl Riccio
Note: Happy Holidays Everyone

summer 09 7/29/2009


Hello everyone!

Before I write an update, I would like to thank my supporters and friends who continue to post messages. I enjoy reading them and they help motivate me. Also, I would like to thank my Dad for writing updates for me every once in a while. I know everyone likes to read them.

I am happy to report I passed my second semester of law school. The past year was another year of adjustments. Obviously, the largest was going from business school to law school. I wasn’t sure I would make it after my first week or two, but eventually I figured out my own way of getting my work done that would enable me to succeed in law school. Many people entering law school have asked me for advice. I always tell them it may seem impossible in the beginning because you have never done anything like it(especially not in undergrad). The key is to keep trying until you find your own way that enables you to succeed. There is no correct way to study and everyone needs to make their personal adjustments to be successful. The great thing about this lesson, that I have had to learn several times, is that it applies to so many things throughout a person’s life. When you get a new job, enter or leave a relationship, start a family, etc. If you give up on trying and are unable to make adjustments you will not be as successful in life and will have a difficult time dealing with adversity in your life. One of the most inspirational speeches I have ever heard was Jim Valvano’s speech during the ESPY’s, and I’m sure you have heard it also, but he said, “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.” Whenever I feel down or that I can’t do something, I always think about that quote, and I try something different instead of giving up.

I have been working in the Somerset County Prosecutor’s Office throughout the summer. I have learned a significant amount about practicing Law and I hope this experience will help me in my next two years of law school. All the prosecutor’s treated me and the other interns great and I wanted to thank them for all the opportunities they provided me.



Carl Riccio

New Message From Car's Dad 2/17/2009


As we approach the six year anniversary of the worst day of my life, I look back on that day and my sadness and despair is instant. I realize that I have mental problems from that day ,depression, anxiety etc I thought that time would heal this mental anguish, if that is so it has not been enough time. As a parent my fun is my kids fun, my success is my kids success, my failures are their failures. I realize I live vicariously through my kids and good or bad that's the way it is.

I live at Carl's apartment most of the time. His unbelievable will is something I revel in. Carl's apartment of course is in Newark right next to Seton Hall law school. After a few days at law school Carl was having second thoughts, it was a lot of work, almost immediately he reversed directions and buckled down and made a decision that the work was necessary and rewarding. Carl works with two computers as well as his law books, I am very impressed, and he uses one computer as a law dictionary. While reading from the other computer or his law book. When I get there, I usually read to him while he follows along, I know he likes this and it is less stress on him. It also makes me feel like I am helping him and on the side I learn a little law.

Carl is taking four classes and is doing very well. His average in the first semester was a 2.5 not the greatest but he feels he will do better now that he has the experience of a semester under his belt. I thought this would be a great career move for Carl considering his physical status and now I know it was. His finance degree from Villanova and his law degree from Seton Hall should give him the ability to live financially sound even with the extra one hundred thousand a year he will need to employ and house his assistant. One of the most stressful things for Carl is the time when we have to change assistants. This semester was a real challenge to him in that respect. We started with one assistant and when he left for a vacation, Tricia and I took care of Carl for that week. The day the assistant was to comeback, he never showed. After a week, we hired one of Carl's old assistants temporarily. Then, over the next 6 weeks, we interviewed hundreds on the phone, dozens in person and tried 6 or 7. Finally, last month, we hired someone that seems to be working out. You can only imagine the stress and anxiety that goes with this process.

I of course always worry about Carl having fun, going out, meeting people, meeting girls etc. even this it seems is a barrier that Carl seems to overcome. Carl's brother peter as well as his friends and cousins the McCarey boys also live in Manhattan. Carl it seems goes into Manhattan and has a great time with them on a pretty regular basis. for me this is the greatest thing , Carl's sister and brothers along with his cousins and friends are a great support group and great friends, Carl's dancing in the wheel chair is remarkable and tells you a lot about his will and character as anything else,.

During the Christmas break, Carl worked for Pfizer in Manhattan. A great family friend frank Damelio gave Carl this opportunity to see what it will be like getting up early traveling on the train with all the daily problems that go along with the workings of the trains the elevators etc. This experience was worth so much to Carl. He lived the life of a businessman, who happens to be a quadriplegic. I do not know what Pfizer and his fellow employees thought of him, or his work, but knowing Carl, I would bet they all loved him and were amazed at his unbelievable work ethic and charismatic personality.

Carl is now working hard on his second semester, I continue to read to him daily, and along with his assistant prepare and eat dinner with him, we also go to wrestling matches as well as dinner and the movies when he has nothing better to do. For me the days Carl and I go somewhere are the highlights of my week… I do not know who helps who more. Carl is not only a son to me he is my inspiration and my guide when I do something stupid he tells me and when he says it, I know he is right.

Carl and I know this country has many problems at this time and we hope Obama does what is necessary to get our country back on the right track. We are especially happy that the policy against stem cell research, especially embryonic stem cell research is being rescinded as of now. As we know, embryonic stem cells are the only stem cells that will live in the central nervous system long enough to heal the injured areas in the brain and spinal chord. The eight year ban on new embryonic stem cell development and the lack of funds that came with the ban have put us back a decade in the research that might be the answer to Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, as well as paralysis and spinal chord injury. Remember no embryos are made for this purpose; the embryos come from what would have been destroyed any way. This should not be a political issue. Maybe now we can find out if these amazing cells are truly amazing. will people like Carl be able to feel, maybe go to the bathroom, maybe have sex, maybe move his hands, I hate to even dream maybe be cured.

Carl should be writing more on his website. He is very busy and every time he says he is going to write, something comes up. One thing I can assure you he reads everything written to him and he responds to all requests and questions. I think Carl is now ready to expand his horizons as to speeches and motivational speaking opportunities. He is a natural. Please show Carl's website to other people that might be interested (carlricciotrust.com) I think that Carl will be expanding his energies into motivational speaking in the future.

This is a sad day for me February 22. I relive that day 2/22/2003, every day of my life, I was alone, and falling apart, it will never be OK; Carl was cheated out of so much. He was a star in every way
His peers looked up to him, like no one I have ever seen; he was the strongest kid, the nicest kid, the most handsome kid, the best baseball player (All-American), the quarterback, the point guard and a state champ wrestler. He never had a fight even though he was the strongest and the toughest, how was this all given to one young man and then so abruptly taken away. , he was truly gifted in all the best attributes of life. The best thing Carl had and still has is his personality - everyone always loved Carl. Carl did lose a little of that leading personality after his injury, he did not think people would ever really think of him as the person he felt he is. I think know slowly Carl is getting his swagger back, remarkable for a person in his situation. February 2009 I'm still bitter that Carl lost so much, yet I'm forever thankful I have my Carl I love him beyond what I can explain. He is my purpose in life and I'm the proudest person in the world to be able to say I'm Carl Riccio's father.

I write this for me, I hope some people are still interested in Carl's life and enjoy reading and writing on his website. With the sixth anniversary of Carl’s accident I have renewed hope for the future that a cure will be found. I feel good about Carl's progress in education and believe that he is setting himself up for a productive and fulfilling life, supported by himself. I now hope that in the future Carl will have some kids, this I know will make him a happy man. Maybe he will even meet some young lady who will love him. These are all my dreams. I will continue to write on this website occasionally and every anniversary. Carl will be writing at the end of this semester. And if you do not see Carl much and would like to write to him please write on this website Carl will write back.

Carl will forever be the wind beneath my wings.


Peter J Riccio
<< Previous
© 2006 Carl Riccio Special Needs Trust